Death to Live

Posted on January 12, 2013 by dontdestroyrelationship

It is with a heavy heart that I write. After a day of work, I walked over to check in with a colleague. She was in tears and proceeded to tell me, she had just received a call, moments ago, that her niece’s husband was killed in Indianapolis, Indiana.

I listened as she told me she had just visited with her niece’s husband, her niece and their baby during the Christmas holiday. She said, “Nat, I don’t want to question God, but I don’t understand. Why now? They had just gotten to a solid place in their relationship, the baby…..the baby.” And she began to cry.

I was forced to remember a sermon by a minister, who said, “Life is like a vapor.” He took a match, lite it, and then blew it out. The church fell silent as we watched the smoke vapors thin out into the air.

It is said so often, we take life for granted. We do. We forget every time we run to an appointment, rush to work, run for the train, that we are really rushing to die.

We go through life taking our relationships for granted, believing we have another day to fix it and make it better. “Life is like a vapor.”

We are too proud, envious, greedy, jealous, selfish, haters, takers, fighters, killers (there is more than one way to kill) fakers, self centric—all the things we can change to improve our lives, but we believe we have another day. “Life is like a vapor.”

We make enemies, turn our backs on a loyal friend, take each other for granted, use one another, don’t love, and sure as hell don’t care! Thinking we have another day to fix it. “Life is like a …..”

We must make it a mandate to live! Love! Talk! Give! Sex! Remove the barriers that make some folk homeless. Go home! Somebody on this earth loves you. Make it right. Throw the pride in the street and you go home! “Life is like …..”

We live in a hard and cruel world. Our only choice is to make it. There are no other options. Live together! Combine the rent/mortgage. Combine the income. Combine the love. Come together like companies do. They merge to be one gigantuous force of power in their industry of expertise. Unless you are a man who owns an island—no man is an island. We need to follow the lead of the leading companies. Companies say, “..crush the competition.” We can crush the economy! Merge! Join Forces! Double the dollars! Because, “Life is like a vapor.”

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His/Her Past vs His/Her Present

Posted on January 11, 2013 by dontdestroyrelationship

The Past. The Present. The Future. Three powerful times in space that work throughout the course of every life, but never at the same time. The protocol, between these three forces, is never to overlap or reside in the time of the other.

Negative emotional baggage holds no protocol to time and space, but will travel from the past into the present and vice versa. A relationship gone bad will actually parlay between the past, present and future, because it was never reconciled as the end, in the time in which it occurred.

It is a saying, “The way to get over someone is to get under someone”. The getting under gets you laid and the sex may be spectacular! (Who does not love sex!) But you will be on your back for the rest of your relationships. Handicapped, broken, and emotionally damaged from the baggage you have carried, because you have not given yourself time to mourn and purge through the hurtful experience of a relationship ended.

You are now in a new relationship. Regardless of how much your His/Her Present Partner loves you, you are blinded by the painful deeds of your His/Her Past Partner. You cannot see the beauty of love because you are incapable of seeing the present void of the past. This means His/Her Present have no future in your life, because you entered the relationship as damaged goods.

The destroyer of the relationship is your His/Her Past living in the moments of your His/Her Present.

I was a “Charmed” sitcom fan. Sometimes the Sisters had to time travel between the Past and Future. In order to return to the Present, the Sisters would chant, “A time for everything. And for everything its place. Return what has been moved, through time and space.”

Whether traveling through time is possible or not, the chant bears some relevance to the topic here. The Charmed sisters were careful, when they travelled through time, to respect the protocols of the three Time Forces. They would not carry anything into their present time, for in doing so, an imbalance would occur in the present, and would wreak havoc to their very existence.

The message is, leave the past in the past. Or the consequence of carrying the past with you, will be counterproductive to your existence.

“Mind Magic”, a book written by Bill Harvey, expounds on how the mind is shaped, beginning at childhood, and molded through surrounding people and situations in life. The mind creates pre-sets because it needs a precedent of an image, action, item, etc in order to relate to the present. For example, when we think of a ball, the pre-set is to think of the ball as being round–not square. Throughout his book, Mr. Harvey provides different perspectives on the pre-sets in order to reshape the mind, thus reshaping the thought process.

Work to reshape the pre-sets of pain and explore the power behind the pain. Try to accept, process, and reconcile the pain by working to understand why the past ended as it did. Learn from that, and leave it in the past. Then move forward. Sometimes we move on, but we do not move forward. For every pain, comes a payback of goodness. This is the balance of the Universe. And that payback of goodness could very well reside in your His/Her Present.

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