You Need a Fire! (Part 4)

Posted on May 3, 2013 by dontdestroyrelationship

Couples are too busy for each other. There is a lot of information out there regarding taking time and making time for each other.

In truth, we do what we really want to do.  Don’t we?

“Taking” the time is really about “making” the time. The statement alone appears too labor intensive and gives us the impression of having to use a little more energy, than we care to spare, during the course of our busy lives.

Let’s not concentrate on taking and making time. Why not maximize the time in our daily routine?   The same routine you use everyday.

We can take ourselves out of the habitual ho-hum, must do routine, revamp it a little, and bond with our partner at the same time.  We must get up and do what we need to do everyday anyway. Why not add a little love spice in the course of the day, everyday?

If we can make the home encounters more interesting, we will not need to make up couple nights like— “date night, sex night”, etc.  You can enjoy time together whenever you guys are in the same place at the same time.  Making every moment count!

Talk about something funny that happened in your day while you are getting dressed. Put on his tie, and zip up her dress. Touch and hug each other. Brush each other. Play fight with each other.  Pull his belt.  Pinch her butt.

Share a thought or something you have read that is interesting or entertaining.  If you have something profound you need to share, do it.  Find ways to be close in the bathroom. Cleaning the dishes, or doing the laundry.  There are so many ways in which to spend quality time in your routine.

Put on your favorite comedian DVD— even if it is for a few minutes. Laugh! You can listen and get dressed.  Take some of the funniest highlights of the comedy act, and use them in some of your conversations together. Keeps the comedy rolling.

When you get comfortable in doing this refrain from some of the small chatter and delve into  a heavier discussion.  Share something about yourself you have not shared before.  For emphasis, stop and approach each other, look at each other, hug and kiss. Get back to getting ready.

When you say goodbye to go to work, school or the like, grab each other and kiss passionately. Grope as if you will not see each other tonight. Get hot and heavy as you separate.  It will give you something to pick up on later.

Since you must eat dinner, why not plan to make a special dinner together on a Friday or Saturday? Go shopping together and make your best dish.  Buy wine or make a house drink for the night?

Make every interaction you share, moments of some of your best times.

In these situations you are not making time. Nor are you taking the time. You are maximizing your time,  moment by moment, and building a bond as you go through the routine of your day.

Try to make your time together intimate, to the point, you will not need to “make” or “take” time for anything. You will flow together, where ever and when ever you share the same space.

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A Moment in the Zone

Posted on May 2, 2013 by dontdestroyrelationship

If we lived life without any concept of time, we would live moment by moment, and in the moment.

We hear sayings all the time, “Live in the moment”. “Capture the Moment”.  You understand.

Do we really know how?

Primarily, it is a mind programming process that once you have mastered it, and you can, you will begin the journey of living a fuller life.

Let’s start with our sex life.

Have you ever heard the words, “Last night was terrific”!  I have a response to that, and it is always the same.  “We are only as good as our last sexual encounter”.  Making this statement creates a different level for the next sexual encounter.  Yes.  It was great.  But let’s not become comfortable in that. There is a whole world of beautiful sex to experience and explore.

That statement removes the comfort zone and opens the mind to bring something different and edgy next time. This keeps it exciting and unfamiliar.

Ever heard of, “being in the zone”?  In the book Flow in Sports … they define this as “a state of consciousness where one becomes totally absorbed in what one is doing, to the exclusion of all other thoughts and emotions.” Simply put, you are tremendously focused on what you are doing and nothing from the outside world is affecting your focus.  http://www.norcalsc.com/being-in-the-zone

The zone is captured by getting caught up in the moment and in the act. Getting totally lost. There is nothing before this sexual encounter. There is nothing after. It is you and your lover (partner) in this time. Never to be had again. Never to experience again.  Now. Here. No future. No past.  Only this moment.

If you knew you were dying tomorrow, you would live in each moment up until then. If you knew that time, would be no more for you, the last moments would be your finest.

No barriers. No obligations. No one else. No one, but you and your lover. Here and now. You will never be together, not in this lifetime, ever again.

So you would sexually respond in a state of hard and erotic ecstasy. With no other time and space in mind, you would give everything you’ve got. Your mind and body, both in sexual unity, and each bringing their own sexual technicals. And with your lover also in the zone you may connect at different intersections where your bodies will mirror, without any planning, just the same shared energy grooving in positions. And when you both pass the same intersection, both of you, in your zone, brings something different and new. This creates a sexual convergence that makes the encounter a wow.

The zone is where we need to be. Stop with just the mechanicals and let the zone take you there.

To get geared for the zone, fore play needs to be hot and heavy.  Breathe, sigh, moan, and feel the waves of urgency come up through your stomach. When you feel that energy in your pussy or in your dick…do not let it subside. Build on that and move to a new position. Talk in your sexy voice. Let out the first words that comes into your mind.  But do not hold back on what your body is feeling.  Every sexual sensation you feel, let go, and respond.  Do not control what you feel, only enjoy the intensity of the feeling.

And when you make that penetration it will be electrifying.

And lastly, do not rush. Tease. Come harder in the act. Penetrate. Do not come. Pull out. Switch positions.  Hit the floor if you must.  All the while you are deeply kissing, grabbing, and biting.  Who knows what the zone will bring!

When you feel the build of an orgasm, hold the muscle (do not tense the body) only the muscle where the orgasm is just about to hit.  Hold. Enjoy it. Keep sexing and you will find the muscle must give way to the orgasm, gently release, and enjoy how the waves of orgasm rocks you, where you will come long and hard.

A moment in the zone holds higher levels of ecstasy.

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