What’s For You is For You!

Posted on April 26, 2013 by dontdestroyrelationship

When it comes to wanting to be in a relationship— some of us try so hard that we diminish the quality of who we are.

Some women try way too hard— booty butt cheeks hanging out, and everything is everywhere.  It is like observing a human billboard, with free advertising, displaying a degraded product that needs to be oversold, because no one is really buying.  All the while, selling ourselves short, and we come up short in getting the right man.

Some men try super hard, and are more engrossed into building their bodies than their minds, souls and hearts, or putting all of their focus in the wrong direction, and talking up all of their goods, trying to impress, only to be gotten by women who are shallow, materialistic, and selfish.

And we blame all of the bad results we attract on love, when we sold our love in all the wrong places.

You must know, what is for you, will be for you.

You do not have to try so hard, to the point, that you undervalue yourself.  Just do you in everything you want, and build your inner quality of life from all perspectives.  Be productive, and oriented about self-growth, get your intellectuality on— always; and you will attract the right person.

What is for you is for you.

You are to enjoy your life! Get out and socialize.  Add value to your associations.  If you are in unity with yourself (heart, mind, soul and spirit) you will either attract those who see your aura and want to be a part (but do not provide the quality that you have built) or you will attract those who possess the same aura as you and can bring their value to the table.

Try not to let your primary focus be on just getting somebody, and being with someone.  When that is your focus, you end up with anybody.

Learn the difference between sexy and sleazy. Less is not always best.

Try to impress with your spirit rather than with your words.  Your spirit speaks louder than you ever could anyway.  Let your words be the backup of who you are— not your spokesperson. 

Work on keeping your heart right, and treat everyone as good as you want to be treated. Appreciate, stop taking all the time and give. Get yourself nice and tight, with the right exercise and diet.

In doing all of your self work, you are increasing your self worth.  The value you can bring to any relationship, you will not allow to be undervalued, simply by accepting anyone that wants you. 

If you have all female friends, balance your circle.  If you have all male friends, balance the circle. Be loyal to your circle and the circle should reciprocate.  Drop the dead weights and get with the heavy weights.

You will find that when you increase your value, your social circles will begin to change, because you have changed. 

Hold your position, because what is for you will be for you.

Do not hold yourself back by waiting to live.  Meaning, do not wait to live your life, because you are waiting on the “one” to come into your life.  Better yet, know that you are not waiting at all, you are just living and all good things will come!

Lastly, trust the Gods and the Universal power; know you are on the right path because you live life in a way that aligns with all good things.  When you have done everything good that is in your power to do, you have spiritual back up.  There is a cycle, a season and a time for all things. Just rest and live!

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You Need a Fire! (Part 3)

Posted on April 25, 2013 by dontdestroyrelationship

If you are keeping up with the “You Need a Fire” series, then boosting your Listening Skills is not a surprise to you.

In order to be a dynamic individual and a fantastic partner, the art of listening is a necessary skill.  Being a good listener can be downright sexy!  Especially if you work it!  If you work the listening skill, you will become a walking sealed vault of confidential information, because folk will find it very easy to talk to you!  When you get to that place, you are working the art of listening!

Listening creates a chain of positives in the relationship: understanding, better familiarity of your partner, and more of an open communication that keeps building.

Listening is most effective in these ways:  listening— by a verbal perspective, listening— by observing the body language, and looking your partner in the eye while feeling the vibe.

If you put all of these messages together, you will be able to not only hear where they are coming from, but also feel where they are coming from.

As a skilled listener, you have your own aura!  You are cool.  You are at ease and patient.  Your body language says you are fully engaged in the conversation.  You are not rushed, nor do you make certain responses that only “appear” to be listening like, “umm-hmm, yeah, ok” etc.  (When using these words in continual duplicity and repetition, you  appear to be fake and not interested).  Your attention is not divided and you will ask questions— mostly only when necessary. You will validate your partner with an occasional repeat of what was said. You will also be able to interpret what your partner is trying to convey.  All of these listening behaviors are indicators that you are really involved.

Your partner will open up to you, because all we really want is to be heard.  Why else are we talking?

You are not selectively listening.  Meaning, you are not choosing what you will listen to.  If something is said that may be offensive, you make a mental note, and address it somewhere during the end.  Getting the full story is more important than getting defensive.  Defensiveness is a hindrance to listening.  Reason being, you must draw up your defensive response and you cannot do that and listen at the same time— at least not effectively and undivided.

Last, but not least!  Touch your partner while he/she is speaking. You can lovingly touch their thigh when validating a point. Fix an upturned collar.  Sit right next to him/her on the couch, and get really close.  Maybe even take your finger and outline the tip of her breast. Or lean into him with your breast on his arm while you cradle his hand between your thighs.

Have fun with your refined skill of listening!

Are you a little behind on the series?  Click here to catch up:  You Need a Fire! Part 1 and Part 2.

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