End the Ignorance in Relationships!

Ignorance in Relationship Late2

People are finding in their relationships, and search for Love some of the most ignorant people that could ever exist.  I am sorry, but I’ve got to tell it on this one.

Ignorance is a choice.  The days of “I don’t know” are gone.

The definition of ignorance is to be unlearned; without knowledge and information. There is no excuse today to be blatantly ignorant in not taking responsibility of self awareness in order to prevent destruction in a relationship.

Playing Russian roulette with Love provides nothing but a cycle of emotional and mental suicide.

We live in a time where information is literally right at our fingertips.  We have self help tools within our reach via laptops, ipads, phones and books.  So when folk don’t know they in turn, choose stupidity.

How stupid to make the choice of ignorance!

According to Steve Siebold, Author of “177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class,” only 10 percent of the population actually invests in self help improvement tools, seminars, and books.  This is a disturbing statistic, especially with all of the information we have access to.

You think this statistic does not impact your experience in search of a solid relationship or worse, in your relationship? Yes, it does.

There is a chance that 90% of the people you meet are not on the path of self improvement. The lack of self improvement carries many negative repercussions.

It is necessary and in the best interest of everyone that we all be informed to not only choose to make sensible relational decisions, but to also be knowledgeable enough to disallow negative individual characteristics and behaviors to destroy relationships.

Lack of self improvement results in the lack of self awareness; and the lack of self awareness prohibits one’s ability to see self.  Being unable to see self carries a combination of pride, selfishness, dishonesty, insolence, stubbornness, insecurity, and self righteousness.

These problems land dead smack in the middle of the relationship.  It is very difficult relating to a stubborn partner, who cannot see how being resistant and hard to reach in a simple conversation takes a toll on the relationship.  Fighting to be heard and fighting to be understood is extremely frustrating.   Anyone who cannot see through their self righteousness, and will not admit when wrong, will turn any peaceful talk into an argument. When this happens one too many times, a break down in communication occurs.

One of the worst reactions in a relationship is silence by anger and frustration.  This is what happens when the communication is broken.

Insecurity is not only a burden, but a high maintenance, clingy, and needy emotion that puts wear and tear on both partners. Someone who is insecure has a never ending need to be seen, felt, recognized, coddled, and pacified.

Limiting oneself with dishonesty, builds the barricade of accepting the truth, much less telling the truth.

Please observe!

Emotionally needy and deficient people mostly always hook up with a more stable personality type. The selfish hooks up with the generous. The insecure latches on to the more secured personality.  The stubborn? Rarely hooks up with another person just as intolerable.  Dishonesty mostly always make honesty a victim in one way or another.

It is seldom that the stubborn, proud, self-righteous, dishonest, and selfish partner tries to remake or reshape his/her destructive ways, by following the stronger example of their partner.  The ill-intentioned who is bent on ignorance does not deserve love from the well-intentioned.

Not only is a relationship about love and being together.  It is also about improvement and growth by learning from the strengths of each other.

Ignorance in a relationship ends in emotional suffering. Rather than shaping the relationship into a happy union, both partners are continually faced with drama, fighting, lying, frustration, and anger.  When the relationship ends, and it will, the blow from the pain will either be a great teacher of experience or a debilitating one, with the residue of fear of what can possibly happen when entering another relationship.

There is a price to pay for ignorance!

Learn to identify and self protect against the ignorance!  It is important to identify the false positives of someone who is reckless about Love.  How does it feel being in this person’s presence?  Does it feel comfortable?  Is there doubt, a gut feeling, or a gentle probing of instincts that something is wrong?  Without forcing anything, does being with this person feel natural?

How good are they with their word?  Do they show up and then drop off?  Do they create doubt?  Does it feel as though they are hiding something?

Learn to identify the problems before getting into the deep with the person who has such issues. Ignoring the problematic signs upfront guarantees a lifetime of problems.

We must become well acquainted with our partner, and the one we are considering to be a part of our lives and our hearts. This is done through lots of conversing, listening, and observing behaviors in order to know and understand the person who we are giving our time and hearts to.

Have open dialogue with that person.  Listen to what is being said and be able to rationalize it.  Is he/she a thinker?  You want an authentic partner, not an android.  Is experience speaking?  Listen! Ask questions!  Be interested!  Observe how this person interacts with you and others.  How vast or limited is his/her knowledge base?  Are the words being spoken genuine, or are you being told only what you want to hear?

Failing to do these things will show problems later as the relationship moves forward.

Being free from fears of failure, past loves, doubts about loneliness, and not finding someone to love, is important in order to have a clear and objective mind.  We miss important clues and signs when our minds are clouded and our hearts are fearful.

Ignorance is only removed when we seek to study truth and fact.  Don’t always go with what you’ve heard, but seek out what you’ve heard. Engage in self improvement and always invest in the betterment of self.  Saying you want truth, but being resistant to the truth, makes you an ignorant destroyer still.

Let’s put an end to the destruction of ignorance in relationships.

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Going Through a Break Up? Then Break!

Break Up2Just for a little while.  Take a break for yourself.  Getting over someone by getting under someone is downright meaningless, not logical, has nothing to do with love, and it is self damaging.

Many people suffer a break up and rather than deal with the trauma of it, they hook up with someone else right away— hoping to relieve the pain.

When people do, hook up with someone else too soon, they carry the energy of the ex, the heartache, errors and mistakes— all burdens, enters the equation with that new someone— who, by the way, won’t last.  This is what we call a rebound relationship.

You and I know a rebound has nothing to do with the current relationship.  It is all about the past relationship.  It is all about the ex.

Take a break!

A rebound relationship, the past relationship and you forms a triangle of disaster.

Purge!  Learn from the mistakes. Grow a little. Do a little better. Be better! Build your cash. Take on a new sport.  Start a new class.  Learn new life strategies. Learn a different language. Invest in you.

Raise your standard of Love. What you had before, take it a little higher. Make the next partner selection better than the last.  Never downgrade. Always take it up a level.

You tolerated pride in your last relationship? Upgrade. Don’t take it in the next one. Your ex was selfish? Identify it next time, and avoid it.  Dealt with a liar? Hell! You know what to do.

If you don’t know what to do, you will find yourself living in the shadow of your failed relationship.  It will be a repeat of the same mistakes with a different someone.

You think you miss your ex?  Do you really?  Identify what you miss.  Is it the smile that overwhelmed you because you saw and felt the love?  The hearty laughter you both shared.  Was it the abundant and never ending shared conversation?  Maybe it was the love you two shared each and every day.  It could also be the undying loyalty, faithfulness, and the weekend getaways?  Wait!  It was the continual intimate times laying around on a blanket by candle light while you enjoyed your favorite snacks and drinks together.

Hmmm….if all of that was happening, why did the relationship end?  Exactly.  It was not like that or it would not have ended.  So, if that was not happening, what exactly are you missing?  

Anyway, take a break. You are not emotionally ready or available.

You can tell when you are not emotionally available.  Some of the signs are a heavy heart, hurting, crying even, and thinking about that person every day or all day. If you are seeing folk that resemble your ex, you know you are not over it.   When you have not moved on mentally and emotionally, you are not available for anyone else right now.

Break away from the pain. Just for awhile. You won’t miss it. It won’t let you.

Take the emotions one day at a time. Then turn them off. Men engage in sports and shoot hoop for awhile or they do push ups. Women go out with the girls and vent. Find whatever your groove is that takes your mind away.

Some people think running, ignoring, hiding, or suppressing the pain is the way to go.  How about no!

Those actions are part of the reasons why relationships aren’t working!

Your heart is like a storage closet. How you archive your experiences, determines your capacity and ability to love again.  A heart of confusion, insecurity, anger, pride and lack of self trust, from past loves, are blockades to a heart that should be open to love.  Neglecting to heal, failing to correct your mistakes, and becoming negative about everything surrounding love only creates a heart of pain, and the archives in your heart will determine how it responds in the new relationship.

Why do you think people don’t trust, and draw comparisons of the ex and the new partner?  Their heart is nothing but a storage portal of past and more importantly, unresolved pain.  That same heart will take those memory files of pain and past loves and emotionally dump on the new partner.  How can any relationship work with this much negativity and pain from the on start?

To avoid this disastrous way of loving, you must work through your feelings. Work in your time, and take your time.  This is the only way.

Take the break.  Let some time pass.

Execute for the next few days, the “What would you do if you knew you were going to die” action plan. This does not mean you blow all your money, nor does it mean for you to do life threatening activities. It is most likely you have a lot of time left, so be smart. But take a couple of risks that goes outside of your box.

Stick close to one of your friends.  Make that your going out buddy.  Keep the lines of communication open and speak openly about your feelings and your pain.  Build a healthy friendship and enjoy it.  

Keep in mind when you have too much idle time to think about your ex, you really do not have enough to do in your life.  This is code for, “Get a Life!”

Start expanding your network.  Sometimes a relationship does not give much time for a busy social life.  Get busy.  This will put you in connection with new faces that brings new experiences and new stories.  It is a big, big world.  Go and explore!

Fill your life with goodness, growth, reflection, and love.  You will find that a full life will leave little space for thoughts of your ex and the ended relationship.

Break!

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