The Relationship Destroyers

You have encountered, in your lifetime, a person asking for forgiveness, and on the other hand, someone doing you wrong, and arrogantly moving forward without asking for forgiveness.

Although we are often told to forgive, we are never really told how. This is a very difficult directive to follow without a how-to-guide.

We know how hard it is to forgive. We know that we must remove every ounce of our pain, push it aside, and open the wound further to vulnerability in order to forgive the person who wronged us, with the risk that they could do it again. We feel the possibility of something happening again, because they have breached our trust. So, to forgive them actually feels like we are saying, “Yes. I forgive you, and allow you to hurt me again.” Forgiving is a very vulnerable position we are putting ourselves in— again.

Forgiveness is one of the biggest emotional risks we can take— but a risk well worth taking. In truth, forgiveness is not for the person who wronged you. It is really for you. It is the expediter for the healing of your pain. When you embrace forgiveness, the rewards are immediate.

When you tell someone, “I forgive you” you can feel the tears in your heart. Those tears are not only for them, but they are also for you, because you are transferring your pain to the pain of actual forgiveness. Meaning, you are simply channeling your pain from your emotional system into the channel of forgiveness. (No one ever said it was a good feeling in the beginning of the forgiving process.) It is through the sincerity of you saying the words of forgiveness that you begin to purge the pain out of your heart and out of your system. Then the healing begins!

The process for forgiving becomes easier. You will see the wrong doer for who they really are. You will see them as feeble, because they are too weak minded to understand the power they must set out on their own destiny, rather than trying to disrupt yours. You will also see them as minuscule, insecure, lacking in self confidence, and having low self esteem. Why else would they set out to wrong you? There is a bigger wrong to make right like, world hunger, poverty and homelessness. They lack self power. Self power is not built upon the pain of others. The words they say about you is a back handed expression of what they are not. You make them feel a deficiency, because they lack the focus, and ability to become stronger. Talking about you manifests how much they are involved in you, who is living life— good, bad or indifferent, and they have nothing else to do, but to watch you. Talking about a problem regarding you, rather than dealing with you directly, makes them a coward who cannot handle conflict. These principles are applicable to family, friend or foe.

Forgiving will become second nature to you. You will forgive whether someone asks or not. This is because you will enjoy the feeling of not having to suppress pain in that way anymore. You will become more aware of the emotional freedom, rather than giving your power away to those who enjoy going through life hurting others. You take back your power, and that alone is a powerful feeling!

The path of forgiveness has a power that becomes a bit scary. The wrong doers always come back by you. It is the law of the Universe. It is a part of the “reap what you sow” law. You will always find yourself privy of the wrong doer suffering at the hand of a financial, emotional, health or home front attack. You will not rejoice or glory in their pain, because your heart has been opened to a point, where the pain of another you can feel. You will begin to see the “Spiritual Higher Powers” at work. Anytime you yield to forgiveness, you unknowingly, move out of the way for the “Higher Powers” to execute what we know as “Karma.” It is out of your hands, when you forgive out of your heart.

Being on the path of forgiveness, you will find the mediocrities that others are concerned with in life are no longer your problems— like gossip, lying, jealousy, resentment, etc. You have been elevated to a higher consciousness.

In the knowledge and power you have gained on the path of forgiveness, you will find that holding a grudge will affect your emotional, psychological, and physical well being. Perhaps you are making a choice of death over life, when holding a grudge. Why sacrifice your thriving life for death?

Forgive to Live!