“I am sorry.” Three simple and powerful words. As simple as they are, they are usually shunned and suppressed. They are not easily spoken. Yet, these words can help the healing to begin; repair what has been broken, while creating the power for both sides. One side of power goes to the giver who becomes strengthened and empowered in sincerely saying the words. The other side of power to the listener for hearing the words, receiving and processing the words, to move forward with resolve.
When we have wronged someone, why not say the words? We would rather simmer in self righteousness, being sincerely wrong, rather than “man up” and say three words? We are being held hostage by three words? Weak!
I am sorry!
It takes courage, self power and a spirit of freedom to say we are sorry. Do we lack backbone and chutzpah?
Perhaps religion has molded us to be self righteous; therefore, the words are actually a sin to say? Is that the twisted response of being a part of religion? Are we intentionally twisting the teaching to avoid abiding by the “word” we believe is spoken by God, or a higher power, just to be self righteous? Are we afraid of being judged?
Are we intentionally ignorant, where we are sincerely wrong?
There is another way we avoid giving an apology. Let’s call it being in a state of self delusion. We are suppressing the fact we are wrong, which is why we have no problem in making excuses, or placing the blame on someone for our wrong doing. So, we walk around saying, we are not wrong.
We then become our own contradiction.
Have you ever had someone to say, “I am sorry, if I have done you wrong?” They know, but their pride is standing in the way. Let’s call this “repenting while lying.” Here is an interesting video clip from the show “Today” featuring Lauren Bloom, the author of, The Art of Apology: http://www.today.com/id/32845175/site/todayshow/ns/today-relationships/t/why-it-so-hard-say-im-sorry/. This clip shows various couples admitting they have a hard time saying, “I am sorry.” It emphasizes the problem with an apology when the word, “if” is involved. This is unacceptable people!
When we refuse to say and do what needs to be said and done, it is impossible to be genuine and authentic, because we are not in total alignment with heart, soul, consciousness and spirit.
We also engage a number of powerful forces, to work counterproductively against us, when we intentionally wrong someone and refuse to say the words.
We call on the cosmic justice system to set the powers in motion to execute the “reap what you sow” action. We create a state of dichotomy for ourselves, causing internal division, knowing our conscience is pricking the heart and mind, but we refuse to let it call us to action. We are creating a life of fraud, hypocrisy and lies. We also create discomfort for ourselves, because we will not set the record straight. We create internal levels of vulnerability to emotions of bitterness, regret and possible physical illness.
We are creating levels of destruction in our relationships. We cannot be trusted to be objective, because we are not logically analyzing to know when we have done our partner wrong. We cannot be viewed as responsible and taking ownership when we do not own up and say we are wrong. We do not love our partner to our fullest ability, especially when we knowingly hurt them, but will not execute the right action to correct the wrong. We are not giving our very best, because we are too stubborn in being wrong when we can easily make it right.
An apology is a necessity. Give it willingly and sincerely, or be willing to face a fate of adversity.
I am sorry!
The Relationship Destroyers 