The Power of a Lie (How a Lie Really Works)

Posted on February 6, 2013 by dontdestroyrelationship

How a Lie Really Works2

A lie is defined as, “a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood. –http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lie

When you lie to me, you practice to deceive in order to mislead me. When you lie, while looking me in the eye, you become the falsification and the fabrication of self that creates a breach of trust between us.

I can handle the truth. We have had this discussion. We agreed, without repercussion, “…the truth … and nothing but the truth.” Truth has been the holder of our bond, our value and communication system, our trust, our security, our word and our love.

I had to find out that you lied to me.

I look at you as you expound your tale, watching and listening because the lying support gets frail. If I listen, without question and interruption, but with close observation, while taking note of your animation, whether it is in your behavioral neutrality or your lying dual personality, your untruth fills me with suspicion, therefore, activating my intuition.

A lie will never tell, but in its quiet spell, it reveals the facts in opposition to its position. A lie works like a cancer. It goes through the belief system uprooting every secured answer built on trust. Creating reprobation as it goes, making delusions of a lie for truth and truth for a lie. Severing all trust levels, eradicating belief and injecting doubt. Replacing reality with illusion. The question becomes what is true and what is false? This is why I do not believe you now.

Your word is now questionable, not reputable, undependable and unreliable. Why did you lie and put our relationship at risk to die? When you told me you loved me, was that fact or fiction? When you smiled, looked me square in the eye, and told me it was you and me against the world— this statement is now held in question. How long has Lie, the intruder, been practicing deceit, on your behalf against me?

I invested my heart, soul, and trust in you, while you were practicing to be my deceiver, my betrayer, and my breach. My emotional system has suffered a painful break, because I have been led astray and lost my way, questioning if what I feel is real. Is this the way you and I were supposed to go, or was this your plan from the get go?

You tell me that everything you have said and done has been true. You say it was just this one lie. You say this as you look me in the eye. You shout, “Believe me, it is just this one time that I have breached you and me!” You are asking me to believe you, but this too can be a part of your practice to deceive.

Was it a lie when you told me you loved me, each time you kissed me goodbye? When we made love, was it the lie I was riding, while you stood back in hiding? You cannot begin to conceive the levels of my disbelief.

At this point, I do not know what to do. But to answer you, I will take this one day at a time, and make my decision about us, at a time when my mind is not on a downward grind.

In the meantime, you must bring truth back, and make it extremely transparent, so I can clearly see and feel assured, that you have no hidden agenda. Your actions must provide the support of every spoken word. Go back to the basics of saying what you mean and meaning what you say. When you say you are going to do something, please do. Any iota of discrepancy and contradiction shapes the prediction of the future between me and you.

Do not ask me to believe until you have exhausted every option, question, answer, fact, or truth. Go to the 7th circle of hell— do what you need to do. If you really love me, you must regain my trust.

While practicing in your state of falsehood, you were remiss of the power of a lie you invited to come in, and destroy everything between you and I. And when your exhaustive chore is done in trying to rebuild us, check your soul’s core and ask why did “Lie” come knocking at your door.

Posted in Actions in Relationship, Emotions | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Partner Ownership versus Ownership of Responsibility

Posted on February 4, 2013 by dontdestroyrelationship

It is astounding that we will claim someone as our own human piece of real estate. Yet, we have all type of reasons as to why we do not go hard body in the relationship. When I say hard body, please interpret this to mean, going steady, keeping a progressive pace, being diligent, and doing your thing in your relationship, from every angle you can, and making every day count.

Being in a relationship implies being committed to someone. You ever noticed on Facebook, how folk are labeled as “being in a relationship?” If they did not put that label on their profile, and he/she is with someone, you know there would be hell to pay. That person is automatically labeled as being taken, meaning, being owned by another. In truth, we really expect our partner to not only be committed to us, but to agree to be owned by us.

Perhaps if we focused more on taking ownership of the responsibility at being our very best in the relationship, versus taking “dibs” http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/dibs on our partner, our relationships would become more robust and move to a higher echelon.

If we remove the principle of “That is my man.” If we remove the principle “That is my woman,” we would see our partner as the world does every day.

You might step back to see her beauty, and who she is. You may see that you have forgotten how fine she is, and although she is a woman who could have any man she wants— she chooses you. She chooses you, because she loves you. You might step up your ‘diminishing’ game because if you “walked a mile in her thong” you would see how many men look at her, and would love to wake up with her in the morning. She could very well choose someone who might give her everything that you will not even try to provide. But, she chose you! Wow! Work it from every angle Man! What are you doing? Give her all you have, and know that may be not enough, which is enough to keep you trying to be enough. And when you get to that point, you will be more than enough.

If you did not feel as if you owned him, you just might see him as the handsome babe other women see. The very smile you take for granted. The sexy look you now disregard. His penetrating eyes you now avoid just may cause some women to swoon. If you walk a day in his boxers or briefs, you just may see and understand that in this day and time, it does not take much for another woman to want your Man’s Man (you know what I mean Ladies). If he is a real man, making money, and is moving and grooving in his place of business, real estate, construction, the office, consulting, accountant, trucking, writing, or playing with the band, etc—-Girl, you had better stop playing around and “Love Knock” that man down!

The problem with commitment in relationships is we are only committed in the areas we individually deem necessary. We commit just enough to where our comfort zone lies or to serve some selfish purpose. For some reason, we have the ‘do not sleep with anyone else besides me’ pretty down packed. But we do not take the sexual responsibility, where we can boldly say, “!f you should sleep with someone else, it sure as hell will not be my fault, because I am knocking you out and laying it on you!” No. We will not take ownership of ensuring to provide the best sexual and varietal experience for our partner.

We make the daily mistake in taking every day for granted. And the domino affect comes down to our partner, who deserves— everyday, our very best, and all the love we have to give.

Put love on the agenda daily.

Rather than focusing on holding down your human real estate property, expecting that property to be yours— while you do nothing; and until you decide to trade-in, try to remember the saying, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” If you have not gotten to the place in knowing your partner is a jewel, keep digging until you do— or do a trade-in, and allow someone else to find the treasure you threw away.

Dig deep in love. We are either in it or we are not in it. We are either on or we are off. There is no in between when it comes relationships.

Posted in Actions in Relationship, Live, Sex | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments