Relationship: We Still Ain’t Free?

 

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Throughout history wars have been fought for freedom.

Freedom has never been won by singing or sitting.  Even today, whether you know it or not, we are still fighting for freedom.  Americans are becoming more cognizant of our constitutional rights, because we are always at risk of our rights being violated.

Yet, many of us choose to be in bondage in our relationships.  We choose to be in bondage in our mental faculties, in our emotions, in our bodies, and even in some religious sectors.  We are choosing to be in bondage on free soil.

The soil we walk on contains the blood of our ancestors and fore fathers, who fought, bled and died for our freedom, but we choose to be bound?  As the fight for freedom continues, yes, as it continues, on a global scale and even here in America, where the land of the free dwells, for some reason some of us are not free in our own homes, in our own relationships, marriages, and even in our own minds.

Some of us are held captive in unhappy marriages, bound emotionally by unhappiness in the very place we lay our head.  Home should be where the heart is.  Instead, home is for some a place of bondage.

We are denied access to the love we so rightly deserve, by being in a loveless marriage or a loveless relationship.  Denied of enjoying sexual abundance in its uninhibited sense.  We are denied the very things that are relationally necessary.  Happiness is a freedom we so deserve, yet because of our fears for the outcome of leaving, we remain hostage, rather than choose the mental and emotional land of relational freedom.  We choose bondage, yet we walk on free soil?

Do not be misled.  You are not free if you are sexually inhibited.  You are not free if your religion suppresses you.  You are not free if you are a victim to another human being.  You are not free if you are in an unhappy relationship.  In such cases you gain freedom by pursuing a happiness that our fore fathers fought for on the soil we walk on.

The fight for freedom was won by blood, yet we do not have the courage to keep it?  We are giving away our freedoms without a fight?

Why is freedom a problem in our lives?  I ask for anyone around the world who is enslaved, and even for those of us, who in our daily lives choose to be bound by someone we love or someone we trust to have our best interest at heart. I ask this question for my brothers, who are mentally neutered, emasculated, mentally abused and humiliated.  I ask for my sisters who are mentally, emotionally, physically abused and suppressed.

Being born should come with responsibility, but freedom should be a birthright we refuse to relinquish, yet we do so— on a daily basis.

Why must we fight for freedom at all?  Why is freedom on the table at all? It is for one reason and one reason only.

Power.

Power is the root of the problem when freedom is at stake.  Power is the culprit.  It is either subtle or blatantly obvious, and it resides in many facets of our lives more than we care to realize.  Power via the ability to control or manipulate another person runs on many levels— from the rapist, to the powers that rule certain facets of the world.

For example, let’s look at religion.  Some of them suppresses women.  Let me get this straight.  We have the right to freedom of religion, yet some religions suppress women?  What the hell are we doing?  We are in the land of the free, and are free— to not be free?

The one who abuses is exerting an element of power to victimize another person.  The victim is who?  It is the person who allows the abuser to abuse.  We live in the land of the free and choose to be in bondage on free land?

Some groups consider themselves to be supreme over another.  This might not be a bad thing, but to exert power to prove it?  Isn’t the belief enough?  Or is the need for exerting power the only way to really believe the concept of supremacy?  Is the exertion of control and manipulation the way to purport and support the supremacy belief?  Down through history it has been evident that supremacy has been unearned through deception, death and thievery.

Others have been a victim of someone who had position in their lives, wearing the face of a teacher, coach, tutor, friend, family member, and the like, using power in their position to violate the freedom of innocence and youth.  The freedom of sexuality has been destroyed through rape and molestation.

The hardest battles and wars for freedom have been fought.  We’ve read and heard about them.  They were extremely confrontational and bloody.  Today’s violation of freedom is more subtle, but just as imposing.  It is more intricate and very personal in various forms in our lives.  All we need is a “no,” some courage, and back bone to honor the blood of those who have died for our freedom.

There should be nothing— whether subtle, imposing, relational, spiritual, emotional, mental, and yes, even illusional that we will allow to take away or suppress any of our freedoms.

All freedom violating forces have relegated us to the victim status in times of vulnerability like youth, needing to be taught, loved, or even needing to be led.  We are bound in our relationships and marriages because of our vulnerability to be loved.  Within this vulnerability, our very freedom is being stripped away, because we have chosen the wrong person to be with.

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is what we should be living.  Others have died to ensure we live this way.  We can be free not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, behaviorally (in the decency of the word) and spiritually.  Never forget that freedom is our birthright— and no man, or force on earth, or in the stratosphere above can take it.

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LOVE:  Believe in YOUR Journey!

 

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The societal direction, clues, hints and the “don’ts” cannot accurately define, or direct your journey of Love.

The journey of Love is not something you stress over, or become anxious about.  Your life combined with the journey of Love integrates and creates dynamics of synchronistic situations that are either temporary, in the interim, or permanent.

We miss the enjoyment of every casual encounter, and interesting get-togethers, and the fantastic interim meeting of people, all because we are focused on the long term of Love.

Speculating and hesitating whether to enjoy someone who comes at an in between time in our lives to engage in some temporary Love play, is due to societal relational standards, by which we try to live by; yet our statistical numbers of Love, like marriage, is ranking over a staggering 50% in divorce.

So much for standards working in our favor!

Believe in YOUR journey!

Our individuality, and the various dynamics that makes us different in the ways of creativity, actually proves there is no one size fits all for happiness, except what works for you.

For example, worrying about someone being too young, regardless of the maturity of their mental capacity, remains a primary concern for women, but not so much for men.  Some men have no reservations being with women half their age.  What a contradiction of standard by which many women allow themselves to be governed by.  We cannot gauge our lives against a contradiction.

Fearing what others think or say does not fulfill our longing to be with someone.  What good does it serve to meet the expectations of your circle, family, and society, if your heart wants Love?

I’ve been there.  Doing all the right things.  Being the right person.  Living the life of example. Governing my life by the expectations of others.  Now, I have learned the balance, after breaking off from the continual pressures of expectations.  Trust me when I did everything perfectly right— I could not govern the other person in my life and he was not governing himself by the same standards.

I lost my fight to being right by someone else’s right to live their life (wrong or right) and forgot who I was, because I was living in the views of what others thought was the light for me, without them having any insight into my plight.

We are controlled by too many things.  Don’t be deceived.  Those who are controlling and try to control the lives of others, are not entirely happy on the journey that has been dictated for them. Those who dictate only do so, because they have lived the life of being dictated to.

Don’t live that life.  Live the life that works for you.

Believe in your journey.

Love comes and presents itself in many ways. The prohibiting “descriptive” choices like someone is too short (okay no midgets— I think) too dark, not attractive enough, not enough money, or not from the same country are all the don’ts we live by.  Where did those don’ts come from?  Experience?  Not likely.

I’ve seen good men and women with not much money do whatever they needed to do, and get whatever they needed to get, because they were hard working.  I’ve seen mixed cultures, make their relationship dynamic by being open enough to allow the crossing of cultures to integrate and shape their relationship with many angles of variety.

Living by a standard you have not even tried or explored is like passing a gold mine every day, saying it is wrong to go in and not check out a golden nugget, or ever having touching one.  Now this paradigm of gold may sound ridiculous, but only because we have seen, (not experienced) the results of someone coming into wealth because of gold.

We live not by our own experiences, but what others have dished down to us about our own golden nugget of happiness.

Time is another pressing concern we live with, and all the while it is passing us by.  Stop waiting to live while waiting for the permanence of Love.  Live for the now.  Now is all we have.

Time is a force no one can control.  It has a way of moving swiftly when we use it foolishly. It has a way of stalling when we want it to move faster.  It will lovingly linger when we capture every moment.  How can we dictate what time is what, yet have no control over what it does?

The only peace we have when it comes to the timing in our lives is to live sensibly, peacefully, objectively, lovingly, authentically and yes, you ready?  Enjoy it!  Make every moment count!

Love has worked in my life from all angles— the long term, to the interim, to the temporary and I am not even sure that who I Love now will be forever, but I don’t care, because I love the journey!  I am in awe of a chance meeting where the convergence of a connection, even if for a short time is made.  I relish the times, because I didn’t dismiss the how of the connection, and I didn’t focus on the why of the connection.  That is the magic.  Love does not always come to stay.  Sometimes it just stops by!

Believe in the journey.

Perhaps our long term relational failures, by the societal standard, is because we are not seeing that Love, sometimes, come in to our lives only for a time, but we force a stay.  When that stay is meant for short term we create a disruption of time, and the stay becomes corroded, painful and ugly, because that Love has gone beyond its course.

When you live authentically, and you are on the right path, the universe will validate check points in your life by creating the synchronistic wonderful convergences that will prove you are on the right path.

Believe in Love, and it will unfold in many ways.  Believe in your journey!

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